A New Country

 

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California, Washington, and Oregon secede from the United States of America. California makes the border with Mexico a large garden that citizens of either country can cross and pick vegetables unimpeded. Washington turns the border with Canada into a huge sports ground where team and individuals can play without guards. Oregon’s border with Idaho is excavated and becomes the world’s largest trout fishing lake. Caliwashigon will join the Asian free trade zone, enter a Pacific Ocean non-aggression pact, and found the Pacific Alliance Treaty Organization (PATO). Official languages will be: English, Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean, Filipino, and Russian. Covering the capital and all military bases with tons of kimchee neutralizes North Korea. Hawaii invited to become part of the new state, if the Naval Base at Pearl Harbor is abandoned. Artists peacefully invade Arizona and the Colorado River is captured. The water supply to the repugnant and ugly city of Phoenix is cut off. A wall on the eastern side of the Colorado River is erected to keep all Trump supporters out of the multicultural west. Las Vegas is besieged with hundred dollar poker chips until it capitulates to California, and a stealth bomber levels the gold dildo tower of Trump to rubble. Corporate officers of American big business will be escorted to the eastern border in old schoolbuses, handed crayons, and given their freedom. Big agribusiness nationalized, and the farms divided up and given to those who wish to farm on a first-come-first-served basis. Farm size sustainability will be the criterion for subdivision of the fields. California’s military bases of the United States are blockaded. No agricultural products or bathroom supplies allow to enter. African-Americans, Hispanic Americans, and Islamic-Americans are allowed past the barricades as they wish. The remaining soldiers will have their Internet and television services denied until they surrender, and then they will be taken to the Arizona wall, given cheap cell phones, and released. Contributors to global warming sentenced to permanent exile in Death Valley with a case of bottled water. Nuclear weapons warehoused in the new country are defused. Caliwashigon is a nuclear free zone. The new sovereign entity banishes war. No violent actions against the united racist states, other than the pounding to dust of the Trump Tower will be tolerated or encouraged.

 

 

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